Seeing "The Hand of God" in my life...
President Eyring shared a story in which he recorded ways he saw the Hand of God in his life. He did this every day. I've tried with varying success to mimic his pattern. This page is my latest attempt. I can now share thoughts from any network device.
Cort
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I can't think of anything specific but I do see the hand of God in my life through my children. Tonight I was in a bad mood, but I still love my children and I'm glad that we are together.
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Tonight ethan talked with me about his feelings. He feels like people take advantage of him. I tried to help him see that it wasn't necessarily so. Sometimes when people tell you what to do its
because they love you. He also mentioned that he get mad when people tell him what to do( when he's wrong). Its funny because he knows he's wrong but gets mad anyway. I told him I'm the same way and
he soul do the right thing if for no other reason thsn to keep people off his back. he also shaped some thoughts about mom--i need to hep him understand family relationship better. -
Today the bishop got up to speak and said "I get to speak today." Garrett said very loudly "yea!" The bishop commented "someone is excited to hear me. Thanks Garrett."
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Yesterday I reinstalled zipline in our backyard. Evonne went out and helped me by holding the ladder and handing me tools and stuff. When she wasn't right with me, she and Garrett would sit by the
lake. I don't know what they were talking about or what they were doing, but it was very cute to see them sit together.
Also, on Saturday, I had so many things on my to-do list. Evonne mowed the backyard for me. I didn't think much of it (besides how grateful I was that she did that for me...that she did my job for
me) until she mentioned that night that she had never mowed before. I couldn't believe that she had never mowed a yard before. I was even more grateful for her help. She commented that mowing the
yard was a lot like vacuuming the house. -
Today I spent the morning in s class on performance management designed to help managers and employees work better. It was interesting that Ethan and I's conversation about being wrong and getting
mad was relevant to work. I appreciated the spirit showing that to me.
Tonight scouts went well. The priests and teachers and I had a good time talking about eagles and playing pit. -
I failed last night to record any thoughts here...I blame it on my birthday.
As I drove to work yesterday, I came across a rather severe car accident. It couldn't have happened more than 10 minutes earlier. I managed to get through the accident (involving 6 cars) just before
the emergency responders arrived and closed the interstate. I'm grateful I wasn't involved and I'm grateful I wasn't caught in the traffic jam. -
Tonight at the temple I was reminded of something I felt a few months ago. It must have hurt Heavenly Father deeply when he cast out Lucifer. He was, after all, a son. I know how I feel when my
children make poor decisions. I can only imagine how compounded that feeling would be to have a son fall as far as Satan. I'm grateful for good children. They may not be perfect (but then is anyone),
but they make good decisions. I think they keep our family name bright and untarnished. -
I got to camp with Ethan tonight. There are about 15 boys here total. Around the campfire, Keith ch@pm@n shared some personal events in his life. He feels close to me ... Close friend. I hope I can
reciprocate the friendship. I really like him. -
Once again evonne mowed the yard for me.
We went to Eldridge's house for lunch. The man can cook!.. Some odd the best bans it ever had. And his queso was amazing. It was nice to see and here the impact sam has had on his life. She may not
think shes a good missionary but she is. -
Last night I prayed about the sacrament. I wanted to try to have it be something more meaningful than what it has been. I prayed again this morning as well. I don't know if it worked or not. I didn't
have a spiritual manifestation. I know I was thinking about it more. I read 3 Nephi while thinking of the sacrifice of the Savior. I also spent some time this morning writing to my children about the
Sacrament. As I wrote, I realized I was writing what I desired to believe, not necessarily what I already had a testimony of. I'm not saying I disbelieve anything related to the Church, just that my
testimony can grow. -
Today no one got hurt. I didn't get fired. I was safe driving on the roads. It feels dumb that this is all I can think of, but it is all true.
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Today is Saturday. I got sick on Wednesday and started recovering on Friday. Today Sam and Ethan mowed the yard. This allowed me to work elsewhere and go to a baptism. This morning I finished elder
Nelson's biography. There were several cool things I read at the end. Then I started reading elder petersons book the sons of mosiah and received incite there too it was cool feeling enlightened. Now
the question is: how am I supposed to remember everything I read? How am I supposed to do everything I've read that I should be doing?
Tonight I took Sam out for dinner. It was really nice spending an evening with her. We talked about a lot of things...school, dating, church, etc. I probably should have been doing this long before
today. -
I don't know why it is so hard for me to remember to write in this journal each night. Yesterday was a great day. I was able to read, study, and ponder the scriptures in the morning for several
hours. It seemed like the Spirit was speaking to me in everything I read. I wrote out some thoughts on work...ended up being 3 pages.
At church Keith Chapman was released. It bothered me because I know why he was released. I also had the immediate thought that he would serve well as a young men's advisor. I asked Rich Tanner (my
counselor) and he agreed. The bishop also agreed, so I think that change may happen soon.
I also spoke with the bishop about Garrett--I felt a need to ensure that I wasn't holding Garrett back from baptism. I don't think he is accountable yet, but I also don't want to be that parent who
doesn't let his child be baptized. Remember D&C 68:25! The bishop commented that he also thinks about Garrett and his accountability. That comforted me.
This morning (Monday) I had the thought that Evonne and I should read out scriptures together in the morning. If I quit my job at CACI, then I will have more time in the morning to read the
scriptures. If I can get Evonne to read with me, I think it will help everything we do. When I asked her about it, she agreed. Yea!
I called my mother on Thursday and asked her to come out and watch the kids while we take Sam to college. I didn't expect her to say yes, but she did. Almost without hesitation! I hope and pray that
she might feel the spirit while she is here. I hope that she might enjoy church while she is here. I hope the kids are good to her while she is here! -
Today I was cutting some wood to make a better bridge over the creek. The tree fell a little too far to the side so I was trying to move it. As I puled on a limb, it broken and I went flying
backwards over another downed tree onto my back hyper extending three fingers as I landed. Fortunately I wasn't hurt bad. Just sore. Later when I went inside, I felt something by my nose and realized
I had a stick sticking out of my nose right by my eye. It was in 1/8 inch with 1/4 inch shocking out. Strange that it didn't hurt.
I'm so grateful I didn't get hurt today.
Had a good time playing with Evonne in the woods, followed by a good time with Ethan's birthday. -
Got off work early after hearing my boss say she was glad I was on the team. She thinks I'm a good fit for this job. Made it to st hiding Missouri tonight without incident. Grandma hacker is watching
the kids while we take Sam to school. -
esterday Evonne and I dropped Samantha off at BYU-I. I am going to miss her around home. I was really surprised that I wasn’t more emotional than I was. I don’t know if that’s because I’m suppressing
my emotions or if it’s because I’ve been comforted by the Spirit. I’d like to think it’s because I’ve been comforted by the Spirit. I am so glad she’s going to BYU-I and not UCCS or some other school
of the world. I’m grateful for the influence at BYU-I.
Evonne and I gave Sam 3 pictures yesterday: a family portrait, the Salt Lake Temple, and Christ. My desire is that she will never forget any of those important things.
During the parent meeting with the President (President Gilbert), I was asked give the benediction. It was kind of weird. I couldn’t really see anything because of the bright lights shining. I was
also surprised by the sound—I could hear myself, but it wasn’t like other times I’ve used PA systems. After I finished the prayer, President Gilbert shook my hand and asked my name, where I was from,
who I dropped off and what number of child she was. -
Got to talk with sam today.
Sunday Evonne and I went to church in Lincoln. The talks were on being happy. The speakers weren't very good, but I spent my time reading about happiness. Then when we got home, I got crabby. Today I
was able to ponder the talks from Sunday and analyze why I wasn't happy. It was nice to see the connection. I must teach correct principles then have patience. I must remember that my kidsove me and
I should love them too. I need to spend time with them and spend my time alone when they aren't around. -
Today was the primary program at church. I’ve never really enjoyed the primary programs…sure, I liked watching my children get up and sing and talk, but I never felt like I got anything out of the
program. Today was different.
Garrett’s line was “The Atonement means that I will be resurrected with a perfect body.” The spirit whispered that line to me several months ago. Today he said his line (with help from his helper).
When they got to the end, the helper whispered “with a”…Garrett paused and then said “perfect body” He has over the past few days done that…he knows that “perfect body” comes after “with a”. Well,
today, after he said “perfect body” He looked at the congregation and said again (with a big smile) “perfect body.” Evonne and I both lost it at that point.
After the meeting, Evonne and I were talking. I had the strongest impression regarding the veil. All of us have a veil over our minds as we come to earth. For the vast majority of us, the veil blocks
memories of the pre-earth life from our memory. I had the distinct impression that Garrett has a veil as well, only his veil falls somewhere between his physical body and the memories of the
pre-earth life. His mind is caught between the two worlds. I’ve often wondered if Garrett can see the angels that surround him. I believe the answer is yes. I wonder if Garrett has walked with the
Savior.
It must be frustrating for Garrett to be physically in the world, but to be unable to communicate what he sees, wants, and knows to the rest of us.
I strive to become like my son. Perfect love. Without guile. Willing to do all things the Lord has commanded.
I want to record here that I could barely speak with Evonne as we talked about the veil and Garrett. The spirit was so strong that I cannot deny what I felt. My son is blessed. He is a remarkable
spirit. I do not know why he was given the challenges he was given, but I do know that I am so blessed because of his challenges. I would not ask for anything different.
I believe that my son has a veil over his mind that keeps him from fully communicating with this world. He knows Heavenly Father. He knows Jesus Christ. He has angels who watch over him. Perhaps even
Orpha Wright is now one of them. -
It is so frustrating how easily I stop writing in here.
Yesterday was a great day. Ethan and I visited the Boyce's. They have been struggling to get to church and, I was told, have been struggling with testimony. Sister Boyce was baptized 3 years ago and
I thought that it might be good for her to hear the new member discussions. Then I thought that the way to approach it was to ask her if she would let Ethan practice the discussions with her. She
accepted and said yes. Now Ethan and I have a chance to teach the discussions together and Sister Boyce has the chance to hear the discussions again.
Our second appointment was with the Carthy's. Last month, their friend, Austin, was there. He answered every question and really seemed to be interested. I invited him to a combined activity and he
came. Last night he was there again and really paid attention. He even answered the tough questions. I then asked him if he wanted to hear the missionary discussions. I admit I approached it wrong. I
tried to ask him if he would let the missionaries teach him so they could stay in practice. Sort of run him through the discussions. He replied "yes, but they don't have to run me through, I've been
thinking about changing for a while now." I should have trusted the feeling and just invited instead of trying to be subtle about it.
We've been praying for nearly a year for missionary opportunities...last night I had two of them. And was able to share them both with Ethan. -
This morning I wrote out a "personal statement of discipleship" as a guide for my life. It lists those things I feel I need to do in order to draw closer to Jesus Christ...those things that will
bring my life more fully into line with the gospel. The first talk today talked about discipleship. President Uchtdorf said "exaltation is the goal, discipleship is the journey." The second talk also
spoke of discipleship. There were several other talks on the same subject. -
Tonight the kids were watching The Chronicles of Narnia. At the end, Peter is killed by the evil queen. Edward sees his brother die and gets angry. He begins to fit the evil queen with all his might.
You can tell that he is giving his all--he is willing to die trying to avenge his brother. Then comes Aslan...just as Edward is ready to perish, Aslan arrives and rescues him...saves his life. And so
it is with us. As we battle for our lives with Satan, we must give our all. Every day we must fight as if our very lives depend on it, for in an eternal sense, they do. When we have done everything
we can, when we have given our all, then the Atonement of Jesus Christ is there to make up the difference and save our lives. -
Yesterday Ethan and I went to clean the church because it was Saturday. I thought the turn out would be light because it was the 5th Saturday and I figured people would forget. Turns out that Ethan
and I were alone for 20 minutes, then the Bishop showed up. Here's the cool part: the three of us were able to clean everything in less than an hour. Granted, I didn't wash the glass doors and I
didn't vacuum every classroom (I spot cleaned the classroom). I also spot cleaned the chapel (looking in every pew). I believe the Lord multiplied out effort and/or our time to allow us to finish the
work. I also understand a bit more why the Bishop refuses to allow us to assign families to clean. When someone is assigned to clean, that means they have an obligation to clean. When you do
something out of obligation, you don't receive the same blessing as you do when you do something out of charity. Ethan and I were blessed because we choose to clean the church. As we prayed
yesterday, Ethan thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to clean the church. My teenage son thanked God that he was able to clean on a Saturday morning. Surely that is a blessing! It warmed my
heart to hear him pray like that.
I need to serve because I want to serve...because I love those I'm serving. As soon as I whine about having to do something, then the blessings go away. It's the same thing with our callings, home
teaching, and especially with the opportunities we have to serve outside of our callings or assignments. The visits Ethan and I make to the Boyce's hold great potential for blessings because we are
doing them our of a desire to care and love for our friend. -
“And I beheld that the power of God was with them, and also that the wrath of God was upon all those that were gathered together against them to battle.” (1 Nephi 13:18). Look at Psalm 34:15-18; 1
Peter 3:12; Isaiah 5:25; 2 Kings 6:15-17 for other examples of how God is with the righteous and against the wicked. There are a plethora of other examples throughout the scriptures. -
Yesterday Ethan and I took the missionaries with us to home teach the Carthy's. Turns out they forgot we were coming, so it was just Dad and Catie in the living room. The other kids were either on
the computer or playing in their room. We talked a good while about how sometimes life is hard. Austin (a family friend) is going through some real challenges with his family and it was impacting the
Carthy's. At one point, I felt prompted to challenge Br Carthy to do three things: 1) pray every day as a family 2) read the Book of Mormon every day as a family 3) go to church this coming Sunday. I
asked Elder Almeida to write down 7 verses for the family to read over this next week. I took a picture of the 7 verses, but I don't know what they are (I didn't really recognize any of them). The
cool part is just as we left. I asked Br Carthy if he'd like to start right now. I told him we would read the first verse and pray with him before we left. He called his family together. Got the boys
out of their rooms. He got Emma off of the computer. They all listened while Dad read the Book of Mormon, then they all knelt down while Catie prayed. She felt the spirit--you could hear the catch in
her voice as she tried not to cry. It was very cool to see the spirit work that quickly in the family as they endeavored to choose the right path. I asked the Elders to follow up with the family each
day--as I do the same. I'm so glad that Ethan was there and got to see that as well.
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